


Putting the Z in the X-Files

by ATTHS_TWICE



Series: Prompts, Asks, Idea Sparking Comments [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alcohol, Aliens, Annoyed Scully, Day drinking, Drunken Flirting, F/M, Flirting, Hangover, Lunch, Office, Season/Series 06, Sexy, Vodka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23137600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATTHS_TWICE/pseuds/ATTHS_TWICE
Summary: After a frustrating meeting, Mulder and Scully go out for lunch and proceed to have a drink... a few drinks.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Series: Prompts, Asks, Idea Sparking Comments [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1670281
Comments: 10
Kudos: 71





	Putting the Z in the X-Files

**Author's Note:**

  * For [linl0](https://archiveofourown.org/users/linl0/gifts).



> For Linlo, who brought this prompt to life with the idea of Mulder and Scully finishing a bottle of alien vodka. 
> 
> This was fun and I hope you all enjoy it. 👽🍹
> 
> Oh... I’m putting this just a bit before Two Fathers/ One Son. 😊

Mulder had seen it on a shelf in a bar a few years ago. As much as it had intrigued him, the thought of how it would taste gave him pause. Green alcohol was never as good as it may appear. 

Even if it was in a glass alien head. 

He had learned the hard way about green alcohol while he was in college. Parties which he attended with Phoebe when she had pushed and pulled at him, trying to get him out of his shell, had made him uncomfortable more often than not. 

Phoebe would leave him once they arrived, and he would grab whatever bottle was closest, regardless of color or taste. His only desire in that moment, since he had been forced into a social situation, was to numb his brain for a while and perhaps slow it down. 

As a result of those nights, the mornings were often spent with the taste being regurgitated violently from his body. After enough nights and days of that pattern, he had sworn off alcohol altogether. 

Especially green alcohol. 

So though an alien shaped bottle would undoubtedly be fun to own, he was certain it would not be worth the money to simply sit on a shelf and never be enjoyed. 

___________

At a late lunch one day, after an extremely shitty meeting, in which they had been reamed for a case that was definitely not their fault, Scully sat beside him, sighing and swearing under her breath.

“Such assholes. How was _any_ of what happened our fault?” she asked him for the third time since they had sat down and he shook his head. 

They were sitting at the bar, the room crowded with men and women in business suits. Tables filled with lawyers, politicians, and fellow agents. Many of them were day drinking and some seemed to have been there for quite a while. 

“Let’s get a drink,” he suggested, above the sound of the raucous laughter from the table to the right. It was as much a surprise to him as it was to Scully, judging by the look on her face. She stared at him and he shrugged. “When in Rome…” He looked around at the tipsy people and she nodded as she did the same. 

“We’d like a drink,” she stated loudly, curt and to the point, waving the bartender down. 

“What’s your poison?” he asked, slapping his hands down on the bar as she looked around. 

“What’s in that alien head?” she asked, pointing at the middle shelf. He turned around to look as Mulder raised his eyes to where she was pointing. It was identical to the one he had seen a couple of years ago, though perhaps just a bit smaller. 

“Scully, no. It’s probably melon or something frou-frou. Both of which will be disgusting.” He shook his head as the bartender turned back around. 

“No man. It’s vodka,” he said, as he took it off the shelf. 

“Flavored vodka?” 

“Nope, it’s just green colored vodka,” he said, putting it down in front of them. “Do you want to try it first? Or just have me surprise you with a mixed drink?” He smiled at Scully and she glanced at Mulder. 

“A taste couldn’t hurt,” she shrugged and Mulder stared at her, her words innocent, but his mind thinking things that were far from it. 

“Two shots coming up." The bartender grinned, grabbed two glasses, took off the top, and poured them each a drink. Sliding them towards them, they picked up the glasses with the green liquid.

It smelled strong and potent, and made his stomach roil. He looked at Scully, planning to tell her never mind, and he saw she was already drinking hers down. He raised his eyebrows and watched her close her eyes and clear her throat. Not wanting to be outdone, he threw his back and then it was his turn to clear his throat, his eyes watering. 

“That’s good,” Scully rasped out. “Surprise us, please.” The bartender smiled, grabbing the bottle and turning around. 

Mulder glanced at her again as she wiped her mouth on a napkin. Pushing the plate with the last few bites of her salad away from her, she stole a french fry from his plate, and smiled at him.

“This has been a really shitty day.” 

“Agreed.” 

“I think some alien vodka might help with changing it.” 

“Hmm…” 

She smiled again and he laughed softly. 

“Here you go. Two UFO’s,” the bartender said, setting down their drinks, which were in a tall, wide, bumpy glass and only slightly less green. “Surprise.” He wiggled his fingers dramatically and winked at Scully, which caused Mulder to frown. 

“Mulder, look at the bottom of the glass,” she said with a snort. At the bottom of the glass, was a tiny glass alien giving a peace sign. She snorted again, bringing her glass to her lips and taking a drink.

“Ohhhh… that is good.” She took another drink and he took a tentative sip. To his surprise, it _was_ good. Grapefruit, vodka, lime, and something else he could not quite pinpoint.

Scully drank hers down quickly, proving just how shitty the day had been. Humming her approval, she got the attention of Sir Winky the bartender for another. 

“You want the same?” he asked, looking at Mulder and raising his eyebrows. “Or something completely different?” He winked again and Mulder looked from him to Scully, waiting to see what she would say, hating how brazenly this winker was flirting with her. 

She stared at the bartender and then placed her hand on top of Mulder’s on the bar, giving it a squeeze. 

“I’ll stick with the same, thanks.”

The bartender looked at their joined hands and nodded, turning to make them each another drink.

“Jesus, what an asshole,” she scoffed, letting go of his hand. “Men… seriously. He has no idea who you are to me. What if you were my husband?” 

The thought of them married made his mind race, just as her comment had a few minutes ago. He cleared his throat and took another drink, trying to cover his discomfort. 

“The guy works for tips, Scully. Can’t blame him for trying to see what he could get,” he said with a shrug as he finished his drink, setting the glass down. 

“Oh, I have a tip for him,” she said, fanning her face, which he now noticed was a little flushed. He smiled as he waited for her to finish. “Don’t flirt so much and get me my goddamn drink.” He laughed and she looked at him with a grin.

Two more drinks were placed in front of them and Scully picked hers up, taking a large drink and smacking her lips when she was done. 

“Really good,” she said, before taking another drink with a smile. 

Twice more drinks were placed in front of them of which Mulder was almost always a half drink behind. He was not much of a drinker, nor was Scully usually, but she obviously was that afternoon. He became fascinated as he watched her, forgetting to drink the green, nearly glowing beverage.

Her black suit jacket had been hung rather crookedly on her chair, and the light blue shirt she wore, gaped between the buttons when she leaned forward, giving him a peek of a red lacy bra and white creamy Scully skin. 

He knew he should not be stealing glances, but how was he supposed to resist? He could only remain so strong before biology took over and his eyes strayed to that straining second button, wondering how soft that skin would feel against his lips. 

_A taste couldn’t hurt, right?_ he thought, imagining the sounds she would make if he was given the chance to have a taste. 

Her skirt was also drawing his eye. It kept rising up before she would tug it back down, bar stools not exactly skirt friendly. She was telling him about something she had read recently, but all he could think of was how his fingers itched to push her skirt up and see what kind of stockings she was wearing. 

Traveling with her for years, he had seen many different colors of pantyhose hanging in her bathrooms to dry. Recently though, he had walked into her bathroom and seen stockings. Actual stockings.

Thigh. High. Stockings. 

The first time he saw them, he had frozen. Mumbling something incoherent, he had left the room hurriedly, needing a moment, or ten as it were, to collect himself. The meal she had brought in was cold when he had rejoined her, but the chance of embarrassing himself had passed. 

“I need the bathroom,” she said, breaking into his thoughts, slurring her words as she stood unsteadily to her feet. “Get me one more.” 

She touched his back, her hand lingering longer than usual, her nails scratching lightly as she tried to hold onto him, before she was able to walk toward the bathroom. He laughed softly as he watched her weave a little and then she disappeared around the corner.

“Get you anything else?” the bartender asked, taking Scully’s empty glass and looking at him. 

“One more each of the same,” Mulder said, draining his glass and handing it to him. 

“Well, lucky for you, that’s about all that’s left,” he said with a laugh. “You two have just about finished off the bottle.” He walked away to get the drinks and Mulder took a drink of the water that sat beside him. He was beginning to feel a bit dizzy, but happily he felt better than he had before they had a drink. 

Or five. 

“Hmm,” Scully said, as she sat back down. “Did you order the drinks?” She looked at him with her eyes slightly closed. He laughed as he watched her and she opened her eyes. 

“Yeah, I did. Apparently, we have just about finished off the bottle,” he said with a shrug. “Maybe we’ll win a prize or something.”

She laughed and put her head in her hand, staring at him with a smile. He smiled back as the drinks were set down along with two shot glasses, each a little less than half full. 

“That’s it, you two have finished the bottle. Congratulations. Here you go,” the bartender said as he handed Scully the empty alien head and she clapped happily. 

“Mulder! Look at that! We _did_ win a prize!” She laughed and handed it to him, picking up her shot glass and drinking it down. He picked up his own shot glass and drank it. Lifting the other glass, he raised it to hers.

“To the victors!” he shouted, and they clinked their glasses together. 

Taking their time, this time around, they drank their last drink a little slower. The alien head sat between them as they sat quietly. He looked at it and then over at Scully. 

“You don’t want to take it home?

“We’ll put it in the office,” she said and he sighed heavily. “We’ll be back down there one day, Mulder. Until then, you should hold onto it.” 

He smiled at her and nodded, taking another drink, and watching her. She smiled and closed her eyes, her chin back on her hand. He stared at her, as always, amazed by her beauty. She sighed and opened her eyes, staring back at him.

“Here’s your bill folks.” Both of them jumped as the bartender slapped the bill book down on the bar.

Mulder finished his drink as he reached for the bill. Scully downed the last of her drink and wiped her mouth. Mulder took out his wallet, placing the cash for the bill and a tip in the bill book, and pushed it back across the bar. Standing up, he wobbled a bit. 

“Whoa,” he moaned, holding onto his chair. “Those were… stronger than I thought."

He picked up Scully’s jacket and held it out for her as she stood up. It took them each a few tries to get her jacket on properly, both of them laughing drunkenly. Finally able to figure it out, she turned around with a triumphant smile.

“Don’t forget our prize,” she giggled, looking at the alien as she tried to button her jacket. 

Giving up with “pshhh,” he picked up the alien head. Placing an arm around her shoulders, they walked out of the restaurant, laughing as they bumped into each other. 

They walked outside and waited for a taxi, no chance either of them could drive home. Scully hummed and giggled, even snorting at times, as she leaned into him. 

“Aww, he’s a good little alien." She laughed, looking at the bottle and giving it a pat. 

“He is. And a good prize for all our hard work,” he said, rocking on his heels, the world feeling unbalanced. Or maybe it was him, he was no longer sure.

“What should we call him?” she giggled, placing a hand on his chest. “It’s spinny out here. Do you feel it?” She laughed when he agreed and she moved her hand from his chest, instead touching her cheek, her eyes closed. He smiled as he looked at her and then tapped the aliens head. 

“Al?” he said, and she opened her eyes, with another “pshhh.” 

“Al the Alien?” She blew a raspberry and made a thumbs down motion, causing him to laugh.

“Okay. Something better then.” 

“As if it could be hard to figure out something better than “Al,” she said as she blew another raspberry, her thumb down once again, and he laughed. 

The taxi arrived, cutting off their conversation. He opened the door for her, telling the driver her address as she got in, smiling at him as she did. 

“You keep thinking,” she said, closing the door and waving goodbye with a giggle. He smiled as he watched her taxi driving away. 

“It’s just us now, Al,” he slurred as his taxi pulled up. “She’s right, I need to keep thinking. Al’s a terrible name.” Getting in the taxi, he vowed to think of a better name. 

As soon as the world stopped spinning so fast. 

__________________

The next morning, he felt as though every sound was like a tiny hammer in his head. Scully handed him some ibuprofen and a bottle of water, looking as bad as he felt. He stared at her and she shook her head with a groan.

They somehow made it through the day, which felt as though it was five years long. Shuffling slowly over to the elevator, she sighed loudly. 

“So, you wanna get a drink?” he teased, as they stepped out of the elevator, and she exhaled disgustedly. He laughed and then groaned as his head pounded. “Ugh, no more drinking on school nights.” 

“A good rule,” she exhaled again and nodded. 

Arriving at her car, she turned to him and closed her eyes with her eyebrows up. Opening them, she sighed and groaned. He smiled and nodded gently, the pounding beginning to ramp up once more. 

“See you tomorrow, Scully,” he said with a sigh, waving goodbye and walking away.

“Zinnia,” she said, and he turned around. 

“What?” 

“The alien. We should call it Zinnia.” 

“Like the flower?” he asked, feeling confused as he walked back toward her. 

“No. Well… no.” 

“Then…” 

“It was the way I felt simply standing still and the sound I heard all day in my head. Such a loud buzzing Z noise.” She closed her eyes, groaning as she rubbed her temples. 

“It’s still in there,” she whispered and he laughed, rubbing at his own head.

“How about just ‘Z’?” he asked and she nodded with a smile. 

“Z is fitting. And _way_ better than ‘Al.’” She rolled her eyes and raised her eyebrows at him. He narrowed his eyes at her and she smiled. “Tell Z I said hello when you get home.” 

Getting in her car, she drove away and he laughed with another groan before walking to his own car.

______________

A few weeks later, they stood in the basement office and smiled at each other. Checking out the room, cleaning up and organizing, there was one final thing that needed to be done. Reaching into the brown paper bag on the desk, he took out the alien head and handed it to Scully.

“You should do the honors,” he said and she grinned.

Looking around, for the best spot, she found it. Not too obvious, but someplace they could see it from nearly every area in the office. On top of two thick books about ancient civilizations, she made sure it was sitting perfectly, moving it back-and-forth, until it was just right.

Stepping back, she grinned at it and then at him. He nodded and stood next to her, bumping her shoulder as they both laughed. 

“Welcome to our office, Z,” she said as he walked to the filing cabinet and took out a file. She sat down behind the desk and he sat in the chair on the opposite side. 

Grinning at him, she nodded and he opened the file, reading out the highlights of the case as she rolled her eyes. When he finished, she sighed and began to discuss the improbabilities of what he presented, effectively shooting down the majority of his theories.

He grinned as he listened and watched her, her hands moving wildly as she gestured at him and the file in his lap. Glancing over at Z, he thought of Scully’s drunken promise that they would be back down in their basement office one day. Once again, she was right. Nodding with another grin, he looked back at her. 

It was good to be home.


End file.
